I applied for my allotment about 5 years ago, when I knew we were moving house. Allotment waiting lists are notoriously long and this has only been exasperated during the Covid, which has resulted in a renaissance in gardening.

I’ve always been into gardening and was growing vegetables from pots in my first house (when it was uncool) in my early 20s. I’m not sure where it’s come from but do remember exploring my grandad’s shed and greenhouse (overgrown after his death), gorging on the overgrown blackberry brambles and making mud pies

Now, everyone’s at it and I get little pangs when I hear young people on Gardeners’ Question Time on BBC Radio 4. It’s a good thing, as long as it’s not a passing fad! Simple garden accessories have become rather scarce, particularly in the bargain places like Wilko.

So, back to the allotment. After pretty much getting the structure of our new(ish) garden, quite small as it’s a new build, I remembered about applying for the allotment and emailed the council. How time does fly!

It seems that you need to follow up with them rather than they contact you to say you’ve reached the top of the waiting list. I think they then allocate on that basis. So, make sure you don’t wait for them to call you.

They said I was at the top of the list and they just needed to sort a few things. A few more emails chasing it up after (you get the vibe) and I was being introduced to my plot.

The Plot

Half plots are allocated as standard, and that’s probably enough at first when you’re getting established!

The council lady explained about water taps and about the garden waste. Basically, there are taps but advised me to use a water butt, and that the site didn’t have its own compost heap so I would have to dispose of waste myself.

I liked the idea of a water butt as I want to grow acid loving plants like blueberries, but on further investigation, they don’t tend to collect much water without being connected to a drainpipe attached to a roof on a building. I was advised that I couldn’t have a greenhouse or shed at this stage so it seemed to me that a water butt wouldn’t be worth it.

Half a plot measures about 4.5 x 10 metres – so quite ample! I have big ideas and want to have cut flowers as well as fruits and vegetables.

A Load of Rubbish

So, if you’re still keen after the long wait, here is your next hurdle: the state of your plot.

So your plot will probably be neglected as it takes the council about a year or so (if you’re lucky) to catch up and realise someone’s no longer maintaining their plot! This means, as standard, your plot will be overgrown with weeds which you will need to remove before you even start to think about planting!

But if you’re really unlucky (like me) your new plot, that you’ve waited oh so long for, will resemble a disheveled junk yard. Oh dear. 😩

The council lady enthusiastically said she could remove the various items which sounded good and I duly paid my first year’s rent – £22.

A few months passed, albeit over Christmas, and the ‘stuff’ still hadn’t departed to a better place.

I email the council lady and she said it would be ‘difficult’ as two of her men were off with bad backs and for me to pile up the junk in the corner of the plot.

I explain it would be hard to dismantle the make shift compost structure but that it was pretty much on half of the plot (so up an end rather than a corner).

After that, she doesn’t reply to any of my emails and I realise that, unless I ‘get stuck in’, at least half of my plot will be a dump for the foreseeable future.

And I don’t have any help as Mr B wants no part of it! He is unsympathetic and hasn’t yet visited the plot!

Tip booked for this Saturday!

😬